I’m so sorry.

I have been thinking about this all afternoon and evening.

My best friend from college called me this morning.  We haven’t spoken in a while, and she had left me a voicemail a few weeks back which I didn’t get around to returning.  So, in the conversation, I was talking about my days and how full they are with Nik’s schools and therapies.  And she wondered what was going on, and I realized I hadn’t told her that Nik was on the autism spectrum.  So I did, and I heard her suck in her breath, and then she said, Oh I am so sorry.

I’m not. 

I may have been, back when he was two, and I was realizing how he wasn’t the same as his playgroup buds.  I may have been when I was obsessively comparing his milestones to others’.  But he is still the same little boy, who I love absolutely, and who is just so endearing to everyone.  He brings so much joy to others.  He is a handful, but then so are neuro-typical kids. 

I am not sorry for anything about him.

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