Then and now

Then:  In my life pre-kids, I was a VP for a private real estate investment trust (a REIT) in San Francisco.  I had people reporting to me, I was responsible for the financial workings of over $2B in investments, I was BUSY!  I also had the sweet perks that come with a job like this: lots of travel (business-class!), annual company conferences usually in resort cities, stays in expensive hotels, a big expense account, a huge annual bonus, all the techie gadgets I needed (or thought I needed) to get my job done.  I shopped all the time.  Every year, with a tiny fraction of my bonus, I would buy a “bonus gift” from Tiffanys…to celebrate.  We ate out at the latest greatest restaurants, had season tickets to the theatre, hosted parties, took trips to Europe…

Now:  We get by on my husband’s income.  No flashy gadgets.  No half yearly sales at Nordstrom.  (Those suits in my closet really should be donated!)  We eat out a few times a month, but at a very different tier of restaurants!  I still buy Tiffany (…knock-offs.) 

I live vicariously through my friend Rachel.  She’s sworn off kids, so she is still full on corporate, and has all the things I gave up.  And that video ipod I lust after. 

As I tell my husband, I gave up my ego.  But it was a long battle. 

I have two beautiful children.  I got my dream.  And what I gave up?  I could get it back if I really wanted.  But then Nik would have to go to a special needs school five days a week.  And then into a daycare for the rest of the day.  And Anju would be in a different daycare five days a week.  And they would miss growing up with each other, knowing each other the way they do, loving each other the way they do.

And I would be hesitant around my children.  Because I wouldn’t really know them.  I would be like my husband, who always looks to me for explanations when the kids say/do something.  But who would I look to? 

I know I made the right choice for our family. 

(But I would still like a video ipod…)


5 thoughts on “Then and now

  1. That’s a sensible decision as far as kids are concerned. I regret not being able to do it. I rue that if I had done it when my son was born, he’d have grown up differently – less tantrums, more healthier etc. I cant afford to do it now but I envy women who are there with their children all the time.

  2. Rosh, the grass always seems greener. Even when I consciously chose my decision. Some days it is really hard, and I envy my friends who can get away for the day and work at an office, stop at Starbucks on the way, go out to lunch, talk to other adults. Other days, when things are really clicking with the kids, I love being home with them!

  3. Stay at home moms have it hardest. No pay, all work and such simple needs:all it takes is a smile from the child, a little performance from the junior seems to be bigger than any bonus.

  4. Pingback: Sweet! « The Little Tortoise

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