In the windmills of my mind

Everytime I think I have things all figured out….

Nik has been having a lot of “behaviors” lately.  That is the ABA euphemism for tantrums/acting out/defiance/non-compliance.  Its hard to pinpoint the reasons for this, but my gut feeling is that this is his “terrible twos” coming into play.  Like I have said before, he is running about 1.5 yrs behind his peers, so this fits that timeline. 

But his preschool teacher is having a particularly hard time with this, expecially because she is so regimented, and likes to have everything just so, and all her kids are model children… and poor Nik just doesn’t fit in anymore, with his “behaviors”. 

So I am looking for another setting.  Does he need strict schedules? Structured activities?  Freedom to find himself? Flexible expectations with directed play?  Montessori? Waldorf?  Multi-disciplinary?

I am going nuts.  My own issue is that I can see pros and cons to everything.  I vacillate.  I vacillate very well. 

I have to make sure that he does not get overwhelmed by all the different programs.  As I was telling Pete, he’s only 3.5 yrs old.  I don’t want him to get burned out so young, and hate school/instruction/direction, etc.  So I have to find the right balance of school, therapies, and fun. 

And when it comes to making a decision for my son, I am a wreck, because I want to be sure that he gets the best place possible for him, but then we should also be able to afford it, and so on and so on.  And then add in the school district and special ed depts and their input, and you can see why I am slowly being driven to drink.

This is bringing me to my knees.

I have appointments with 4 different preschools over the next few days.  I’ve already looked at two. 

I just want him to be happy.

But also get what ever early intervention he needs/deserves.

And I have to keep my personal prejudices out of it.

Round, like the circles that you find, in the windmills of my mind.


2 thoughts on “In the windmills of my mind

  1. Hi, came here via mad momma’s blog and read thru all your archives. love that you keep it real, manage everything that you have to and yet display a sense of humour. Your kiddos are adorable so keep the stories coming….

    bombaygirl said: Thanks. Sometimes I feel that I am barely keeping it together. Writing about it helps!

  2. This too will pass.
    1.There’s no school in the world that is good enough for our children-neurotypical or not. Regular parents fret and worry about school, teachers, bullies, eating, so do you.
    2.’Behaviours’ will change to be replaced by
    a new set, after sometimes, even 6 months. So you have to hang in there.will they change for better or worse?we ‘ll believe it will be for better.
    3.Non-compliance, aggression could also be due to general fatigue, boredom combined and growth spurts.
    4.The tough bit is for a child who speaks very less you- his amma- is the only one who understands his vocabulary very well. So you join him in his frustration in battling a world that can’t follow what you/he say/what/you mean.
    Someday a meeting point will be arrived at.
    Hold your drink and say cheers until then.
    5.Give him structure, give him order and give him little unstructured time. Poor fella doesn’t know how to even act out his free time-you think your little daughter, the messy and haughty queen knows-so why ought to nick know better?
    6.each school, teacher will not be perfect/will be perfect only for a short period.
    tell me how many teachers did you enjoy in your own schooling days of more than 12 years?3/4/6? so don’t expect nick to find a good professional help at all times. bite the bullet, stick a smile, swallow your sobs-u don’t have the luxury of tears. you r the mommy of a soldier. march on with him holding your head high.
    my best wishes.

    bombaygirl said: I guess I feel it is particularily hard because of Nik’s issues. I know that other parents go through this too, I just think I have it harder. But you are right. I would be worrying about it anyway, there’s just an added dimension of his disabilities.

    Thanks for your kick in the pants.

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