A mulligan

A mulligan is a golf term for a do-over.  I learned that from my husband who is a golf nut.  From a family of golf nuts.  Apparently, if you really eff up a tee shot (note the on-point golf lingo there!), some golfers will ask for and get a second chance to tee off. 

We don’t get mulligans in life though, do we?  There really is no way that I can ever know if the decisions I make for my son on a daily basis are the best ones.  I constantly second-guess myself: what if I did something differently.  What would the outcome have been then. 

Did the cod-liver oil I gave him from the time he was 3 until a few months ago really help him?  I thought I saw an immediate improvement, but was that just wishful thinking?  What about those multi-vitamins?

What about the treatments I am NOT giving him?  Like the gfcf diets?  The super nuthera vitamins?  Every therapy that other child on the spectrum is getting?  Is he worse off because I am too lazy to pursue the completely preservative-free/additive-free diet?

I’ll never know, will I? 

And that keeps me up at night. 

Because with the little successes (huge successes in my book), come the nagging thoughts of what-ifs.

And that is being a parent, isn’t it?  Making a decision for your child, the best you can, and then praying that it is the right one.

Because you can never get a mulligan and see what the other million paths lead to.


4 thoughts on “A mulligan

  1. I think the guilt is inbuilt in moms. I have 4 kids(9 yrs old to 18 months) and am constantly second-guessing myself. I wish there was a way of viewing the other paths 🙂

  2. As mothers we always want to do the best for our little ones yet there are so many if’s and but’s. Being a mother Is no easy task.

  3. Do what best you can. Don’t worry about what others are working, new diets, new fads, new studies. They are indicators, suggestions and not the whole truth always.
    I say your boy will turn up to be a hero.
    (It comes true you know, especially when I say it for others, ’cause I’m the black-t0ngued one)

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