Today, fifteen years ago, I started a new life.
I married my best friend.
Two days ago, I sat across the table from a dear friend who served me with divorce papers.
Fifteen years ago, I was tearing up the 101, rushing to the Palmer House Bed and Breakfast, cursing as I drove, since I didn’t quite remember how to get there, following my fiance as he wove in and out of traffic, singing loudly. We were in separate cars, so that we could drive people around over the next day or two. Before smartphones, before GPS, I had my mental map and him.
We have definitely had a turbulent life together. But it was a shared life, and a life I thought would get better as we grew together. It hasn’t been easy. Things that I thought brought us closer, in hindsight I see actually drove wedges. He couldn’t cope, and drifted away.
Two days ago, I sat across from my friend, crying as I thought about the years until now. Everything I had been through, we had been through. The shared memories, the travels, the laughter, the fights.
The lost babies.
The two miracles that we have helped bring into this world.
Today is my fifteenth wedding anniversary.
And I am starting a new life.